Only one more lap...

So, I made it through the first week of training. Things haven't been too difficult yet. Some run/walk workouts. A few swims. A couple bike rides. Granted this past week I've probably worked out more than I have total in the past 4 months... I'm definitely using muscles I have either never used or haven't for a very long time.

I'm not lying when I say I've never done anything like this before. I've really never done anything like this before.

Tonight was hard. And cold. It was my first track workout at Kezar stadium with the team. Started with a warmup of a mile then did 1/2 mile of different drills. Then we did a 2 mile marker set which is basically seeing how quickly we can run 2 miles. My time was: 21:28. Not as bad as I would have thought, but not stellar either. But, the run was rough. It was cold and foggy so I lost feeling to my hands early on then there was that warm / cold sensation everywhere. And then my lungs start to burn and my legs start hurting. And it doesn't help that I'm at the back of the pack and getting passed by teammates (who are all so encouraging which is great because if I'm going to get lapped, I'd rather it be by a nice person!). About 3 laps in (.75 miles) I feel like I want to walk at least just for a few seconds to catch my breath but no one else is walking. So I keep going and make it through the first mile in 9:58 without walking. I conquered the second mile with a combo of walking and running and didn't come in last.

You know what keeps me going when I feel like I can't go any further (which I felt tonight)? I keep thinking just 1 more mile, just 1 more lap, just 100 more feet then it will be over. Then I'll get to rest (or course there was no rest after the workout, we had a pretty intense 20 minute core strengthening session....I'll be feeling it tomorrow). I know that I can push through because I know there is an end. No matter how rough the run was, I knew I'd be home and in bed by 11p. I knew that run would be over tonight.

Blood cancer patients can't say that. They can't say only 1 more chemo session, 1 more procedure, 1 more drug to take. They need to push through knowing that they might need to keep pushing, pushing and pushing until they reach an undetermined end that isn't most likely a happy one. They can't say if I make it through tonight, then it's over. Their fight never ends. Even those in remission never know when it may begin again. And they don't have any choice except to push through. They need to fight, suffer and endure to survive. It isn't optional.

This is why I am choosing to fight, suffer and endure for these patients. So that maybe if I push hard enough and endure long enough someday every person diagnosed with cancer will definitively know that there will be a happy ending at the conclusion of their treatment. So that someday there will be a cure for cancer.

Go Team!

Erin

P.S. Definitely investing in some gloves for running. I lost feeling to my hands and only regained feeling a few minutes ago.