Tuesday, December 28, 2010

J is for Jean

The J in my name is for Jean. People always ask that. People think I'm being pretentious including a middle initial. Jean is my grandma's name. She died of colon cancer when I was 3. She was my mom's best friend. And I never knew her. I don't remember her except the stories I've been told or the pictures I've seen. I wish I could have known her. So that's what the J is for. I'm not trying to do anything by including it in my name...other than remembering her.

My mom is such an amazing woman. She's always worked so hard to make sure me and my sister had everything we could ever need. She still does. She's always put us first. And she loves us so much. I'm sure she is the woman she is today because of her mom, Jean. I wish I could have known her. I wish she could have seen me grow up. I wish she could meet Matt. Seen how happy we are. I wish she could see the woman I've become. And all the things I've accomplished. I wish she could have come out to dinner last week with my mom & I. We had such an amazing time. I wish she could have been there.

I wish she could she see me now. Training six days a week. Running, biking, swimming in the rain. Raising $10,000 so that hopefully every grandparent can see their grandchild grow up. I know she'd be so proud of me. I wish she could be at Coraline for a Cure next Tuesday. I wish she could have been at one opening night of the many I've had in the past two years. I wish I could just have one conversation with her. Just one. Or a hug. Just one.

I hope someday I can be a wonderful mother like my mom is to me. Like her mom was to her. I hope someday I can be a wonderful grandmother. I hope I get to see my grandchildren grow up. I hope I can spoil them with love. And support them. At whatever they do.

I wish I could remember my Grandma Jean. I wish I could have known her. I wish she could still be here.

So, Grandma Jean -- I know you're up there watching down on me. I hope you're proud of me because I'm doing all of this for you. I love you!

For Grandma Jean!

xoxoxo

17:43

Last weekend, I ran 17 minutes and 43 seconds. Without Stopping. After I had just swam 1+ miles.

17 minutes 43 seconds

It may not seem like that long. But this is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I don't think I've ever ran 17 minutes straight without stopping. Ever. I don't think I've ever ran 15 minutes without stopping. Maybe not even 10 minutes straight. But last week, I ran 17:43.

Last year, I couldn't even walk 20 minutes without my back or feet or knees hurting me. And last week, I ran 17:43.

I'm so proud of myself. I know I can do this!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The 8th Floor -- For Mark

Just got back from a good swim. I checked the mail before the swim and we got a $100 check from a donor which brings our donation total to $1,000! WOOHOO...That means we're 10% of the way to our goal of $10,000. That's amazing, but we've still got a long way to go and we won't be able to make it without your help!!

I'd also like to go on the record by saying that we won't stop at $10,000. If we reach $10,000 before our race we'll keep asking, keep trying and keep believing. We'll be doing everything we can this winter to CURE CANCER. And won't stop until it happens!

So, yes, good swim. I'm hitting the pool again tomorrow since I'm a little behind on the swim workouts. But to continue on from this afternoon. Here is Mark's story:

Mark was in England for business on his 30th birthday. Let me clarify: rural small town England. He wasn't feeling too well so he went to bed pretty early. Not exactly a great way to celebrate a birthday. He recalled to us waking up in the middle of the night, feeling horrible and heading to the bathroom. I noticed my figure...I could see every single one of my ribs and muscles in my chest. I looked like a skeleton. Then I noticed my face. Kind of ironic -- I notice my face second. But I had grown a second chin. Within hours I had turned from a normal man to a skeleton with a double chin.

Something was obviously wrong. He went to the ER in rural England. They said it was the measles. Or the mumps. They said go home. He went back to the hotel. The pain got worse. A third chin grew. He went back to the ER. They said it was the measles. Or the mumps. They said go home. He went back to the hotel. His pain grew. His pain was excruciating. His coworkers began worrying. They took him back to hospital. They demanded tests. Answers. Doctors did the tests. Mark was in pain. Excruciating pain. Thought he would die. Then he got an answer:

Go home. Get some sleep. Come back tomorrow at 10am and go to the 8th floor, Turner Ward.

He admitted to us that at that moment his spirits immediately raised because:

1. He would live long enough to come back tomorrow at 10am
2. Someone knew what was wrong with him. And he would find out tomorrow. And something could be done.

So he arrived the next day at 10a and went to the 8th floor. Then looked around...there was no Turner Ward. Had they lied to him? Was this a joke? No he was sure he was going to die. But then he took a look at the signs.

Geriatrics. Well I'm definitely not THAT old.
Pediatrics. Well I'm definitely not THAT young.
ONCOLOGY.

At that moment, he told us, his heart immediately sank to the floor and he started crying. He knew he had cancer.

I forgot to mention that Mark was at the peak of his health when this happened. He had ran multiple marathons, always ate healthy. He did everything right. And there he was on the floor of some English hospital crying because he had cancer.

The diagnosis was Hairy Cell Leukemia. And once he got back to the States he went through a few weeks of mild chemotherapy. Didn't lose his hair. Never threw up. Now, he has been in remission for 5 years. Mark thanked us for raising money for LLS because that money that funded research that created the drug he was treated with saved his life. And will continue to save others like him.

Yesterday, I went to Kaiser in SF. My doctor is on floor 7. In the packed elevator, I was standing right in front of the directory. I noticed an elevator mate choose floor 8. As the elevator cleared, I read the directory. Floor 8 -- Oncology.

I never want to find myself on Floor 8. I never want anyone I ever love to go to Floor 8. I never want any friend, acquaintance or enemy to push Floor 8 on that elevator or elevators like it across the country. I don't want there to be any Floor 8's in any hospital, anywhere.

Mark's story wasn't the first I've heard like this. I've heard a handful of honorees tell me that that was how they found out they had cancer. They were told to go to a certain floor. And when the elevator doors opened they were confronted with the words "ONCOLOGY" and their lives changed forever.

Though I hope someday no one ever has to find their way to Floor 8 just to have their life shattered, I know for the short term that is wishful thinking.

Here is a more realistic, achievable goal: That every person whose life is halted by a visit to the 8th floor find hope when the elevator doors open. That there is a treatment for everyone. That everyone has the chance to fight and a better chance to live.

The money we're raising will do this. In the short term, it will save lives. It will make the road bumps shorter and easier to bare. It will even cure some.

And as time moves on. As we keep raising money. Raising Awareness. We will find a cure.

Here's to ending 8th floor visits.

xoxo

Erin


For Laura

Phew! I've been mentally writing this blog post in my head since Sunday. I'm glad I finally have a moment to breath in between the endless emails, phone calls (to secure donations for Coraline for a Cure) and all the training. But, here it is (hope it's good, since it's 5 days in the making)...

Sunday's Team training was amazing. I started with a short 6 mile bike ride along a bike path in Marin. It was a little nerveracking...lots of kids, dogs and big groups of riders. But I didn't fall! And did pretty good. I was near the back of the pack which gets frustrating sometimes but I just gotta keep telling myself I'm learning and the back is fine. Everyone who clips in has a mechanical advantage over me so I think that's one reason they kept flying by me. I'm still deathly afraid of clipping in but I could use the help on my rides so....My first goal of the new year: CLIP IN! For those of you who haven't been following along...clipping in means that your bike has special peddles that work specifically with clips on your bike shoes which attach your shoes to your bike. Wish me luck with that, I'll need it!

Then we hit the pool. I haven't been swimming as much as I should be which kinda hit me Sunday. And now we're about a month away from my FIRST OPEN WATER SWIM. I'm getting pretty excited for swimming in the Bay in the dead of January (sense the sarcasm in my voice?) =) I'll be hitting the pool hard over the holiday. In fact, I'm off for a swim after I post it!

Following the swim was, in my opinion, the most amazing part of the day: The Honoree Luncheon.

Honorees are team members who either have or have had a blood cancer. Some of them are training for the triathlon alongside us. Others are training for different events, like Laura who is training for the snow show hike in Yosemite. Others are currently undergoing treatment and therefore can't train but serve as the inspiration for us to keep training.

Two of our honorees, Mark & Laura, shared their stories. I was moved to tears by both of them. Here are their stories. Here is WHY I keep pestering YOU to donate, to buy tickets for Coraline for a Cure, to support us. Here is why I'm training 6 days a week, in the rain, in the freezing weather, in the early morning. Here is why waking up at 7a both weekend days is a walk in the park. Here is why running up & down the Kezar (yep did that last night) and running lap after lap is bearable and sometimes enjoyable. Here is why I'm asking you to spend $60 on a ticket for a theatre show. Here is my reason, inspiration and motivation to keep training and never giving up:

Raise your hand if you're under the age of 32.

^ That's what Laura Warren, age 49, asked the team as she began talking to us on Sunday. I raised my hand. So did Matt. So did probably half the team. Laura has been dealing with cancer and effects of it for longer than everyone who was raising there hand had been alive.

Laura was diagnosed with Hodgkins disease when she was a senior in high school. Luckily, at that time the survival rate for Hodgkins was 90% with the current treatment plan. She had a choice: go through intense chemotherapy for 1 year+ or die within 6 months. She candidly told us that some choices are so obvious they aren't really choices at all -- so I did the chemotherapy. 

She was ultimately cured of Hodgkins disease. 20 years later, Laura found a lump in her breast and was diagnosed with breast cancer. After her diagnosis, she found out that female patients that underwent treatment for Hodgkins disease  during the time she did were something like 60% more likely to develop breast cancer than an average woman. So there she was, years after battling Hodgkins dealing with it's aftermath. She peacefully admitted that she couldn't be angry at her doctors from years ago. They did what they had to do so that I could live. And I got years added to my life where there would have only been months had I not been treated. I couldn't be upset; I had to fight.

And she did fight. The cancer went into remission. 4 years and 11 months went by. She drew that number specifically to our attention because in the cancer world: 5 years without a relapse and you're considered cured. So, after 4 years and 11 months the cancer was back. And she had to keep fighting.

Might I mention that she ran a full marathon a week after her first chemotherapy session for the breast cancer. If Laura could do that, I can do ANYTHING. 

For the past few months she's been undergoing many tests (PET scans, CT scans, blood tests, etc). The test results had been slightly ambiguous and the doctors weren't sure what exactly they meant. Before Thanksgiving we were all praying that the ambiguity meant that the cancer wasn't back and that Laura could take a break from fighting a disease that has occupied her life for over half of it.

But, the fight continues. Laura was diagnosed with advanced stage breast cancer which means that with current technology and treatment she can never been cured. Yes, she will live for months. Yes, she will live for years. Hopefully she will live for years and years. But years and years isn't the same as decades and decades. She is the reason we need to keep training and keep raising. The $500,000 my team raises this season. The $10,000+ Matt & I raise this winter. It will go towards research that could help extend her life. It isn't too late for her which is why raising this money is so important for her and thousands like her across the country.

We have the power to save Laura's life. 

Fun fact: Laura did scenic painting & lighting for theater when she was in high school. We hope she can make it to Coraline for a Cure so you can all meet her and understand truly how inspiring she is!

SO, yes, I know it's the holidays. Yes, I know you don't have any extra money. Yes, I know $60 is a lot to spend on a ticket to a show. But, don't think of it, as $60 for a show. Think of it as $60 so that Laura can live. So that no mother has to lose their child. So that no one needs to spend their Christmas in the hospital. Yes, I know there are a billion other excuses, reasons, stories to say no. But, how amazing will it be, if all of our friends, family and loved ones join together with a resounding YES! Yes -- we will buy a ticket to Coraline for a Cure. Yes -- we will donate to LLS (even if only $5)! Yes -- we will save Laura's life. Yes -- we will make a positive difference in this world.  

Yes -- we will cure cancer. 

This is for you, Laura.

xoxo

Erin

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Talk about Busy, No One Said Curing Cancer Would be Easy

It's been a while since out last update. It's because, well, on top of being full time students and and working part time jobs....

We've been...TRAINING
Gearing up; Running; Soaking Wet after a Run; Swimming; Hopping into a Cold Pool on a Rainy Day; Biking; Peddling through the thick SF Fog; Changing Gears; Remembering how to change gears; Trying not to fall; Trying to take my hands off the handle bars; Trying to get my water bottle while I'm riding...and not fall; Eating Healthy; Fueling; Hydrating; Freezing; Stretching; Strengthening; Drilling; Squatting; Overcoming Fears; Striving; Improving; Breathing; Thriving; Succeeding; Pushing Ourselves Beyond Our Limits; Trying New Things; Overcoming Boundaries; Encouraging Team Members; Encouraging Ourselves; Recovering; Resting...

We've been...FUNDRAISING
Writing Letters, Emails & Thank You Notes; Mailing letters; Sending Emails; Asking You to Give us Money, to Support us & to Believe in us; Trying to Sell Tickets to Coraline for a Cure; Asking for Donations; Sending Emails; Writing Letters; Making Phone Calls; Asking for Donations; Writing Thank You Notes; Asking YOU to Give LLS Money; Asking YOU to help us cure cancer; Asking for YOUR help; Printing letters; Sealing Envelopes; Buying Stamps; Sending Emails; Facebook Updating; Tweeting; Promoting; Organizing; Designing letters; Printing Postcards; Hanging up signs; Telling YOU to Buy Tickets to Coraline for a Cure; Telling YOU that your money makes a difference; Sending more emails; Going to more Stores and Asking for Donations; Requesting Donations Online...

It's been hard but we do it because we're INSPIRED BY:
All the Cancer Survivors who keep on Surviving; All the Patients who Fight for their Lives Everyday; Every person who has ever lost their fight -- so that no one will have to lose ever again...

Stay tuned for more updates about our connections to the cause.